This is actually very personal for me, but I think that it is part of the 'healing process' and having the whole wide world (or a comparatively inconsequential percentage of it) being aware of my problem is more likely to discourage it from getting worse.
First off, if you have an eating disorder, or if you think you have one, get help for it.
It is VERY difficult to get better on your own.
Or even with help.
A common misconception about eating disorders is that they are not an authoritative affliction; that they are conventionally experienced by superficial teenage girls seeking attention.
While that description may be apt in particular contexts, like most psychological or physical disorders, unless you have experienced it yourself, the suffering experienced is absolutely incommunicable and incomprehensible.
To the people who know me who 'know,' they think that the solution is easy: eat something (I think it's incredibly tactless to say this to somebody with an eating disorder :\).
But every time you open up the refrigerator or cupboard, there is an impenetrable barrier.
It just seems impossible to stop.
Every time I think that I am recovering there is some type of relapse, something that sends me spiralling.
I have to get better.
I know I have to.
I WANT to get better.
(This will probably end up being some douchebag's 'thinspiration' later on, and I really don't want it to be.)
this is nathan^_^ you are simply amazing. your genius knows no bounds, your inner pool of creativity is as endless as the ocean and you have such a natural talent for life. I support you one hundred percent and if you EVER need someone to boost your confidence dont hesitate to call me. you will become a greater person through your struggle, we all struggle and what does not kill you only makes you stronger. of most people you and i know this best... honey you are unbelievably strong and i know that what ever decision you make it will be the right one
You will bet better dear, don't worry, you are stong enough
all my love,
zainab.
Take care
this is nathan^_^ you are simply amazing. your genius knows no bounds, your inner pool of creativity is as endless as the ocean and you have such a natural talent for life. I support you one hundred percent and if you EVER need someone to boost your confidence dont hesitate to call me. you will become a greater person through your struggle, we all struggle and what does not kill you only makes you stronger. of most people you and i know this best... honey you are unbelievably strong and i know that what ever decision you make it will be the right one
never give up always keep going.
your friend
Nathan
p.s. ill send you ma cell on myspace